Humour: Great things about getting older

  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  • It’s harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
  • If you’ve never smoked, you can start now and it won’t have time to hurt you.
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • Your eyes won’t get much worse.
  • Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out.
  • No one expects you to run into a burning building.
  • There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
  • Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.


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