Humour / Golf: Golf Guide

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A friend asked me to review the table of contents of a to-be-published golf guide. I look forward to the final product:

  1. How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
  2. How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titlist from the Tee
  3. How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
  4. How to Get More Distance Off the Shank
  5. When to Give the Ranger the Finger
  6. Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
  7. When to Implement Handicap Management
  8. Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9am
  9. How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
  10. How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
  11. Why Your Spouse Doesn’t Care That You Birdied the 5th…
  12. How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
  13. How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee
  14. When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
  15. God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
  16. When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
  17. Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
  18. Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer From The Cart Girl and Give Her a $3 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Bartender…

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