The other day I caught myself yelling "You Idiot!" (within the privacy of my own car) at another driver. I think such outbursts are becoming more frequent. I should probably keep count to determine if this behaviour is trending.
I tend to be impatient so I spend a lot of mental energy trying to manage those emotions. Yet as I get older my willingness to spend this energy appears to be waning. The social pressures, other than say good manners, feel less concerning.
Watching Earl convey his frustration with reporters struck a cord; a moment of empathy. I understood how he might feel as a result of the attacks on the leader and party he believed in and there was little to nothing he could do about it. The outburst was the only option he could think of. May be it reflects the inability to distinguish those things that one can control from those one cannot. Trying to resolve the latter is by definition impossible and thus to do so leads only to frustration. Yet, for many, the drive to solve a problem regardless of which side of this equation it lands on outweighs rational thought.
I wondered if I could be going down this path to become an "angry old man." A cloud of concern loomed over my head. How would a sojourn along this path turn out? Will I become disconnected from society? Will I be treated as the eccentric old uncle who rants but need not be taken seriously? Will I vote conservative? Should I turn myself in? Should I seek some medical help?
On another related note, I've started to drink coffee black. No more sugar; no more cream. To my transitioning taste buds it is bitter, but I like it. However, if one is what one eats then is this a sign that I am becoming more bitter? Is this another demonstration that I am on the road to AOM status?